Reaching Rachel Read online

  Using his pocket knife to cut a box open, he reached in and pulled out the one thing that he had kept with him all this time. It was a picture of the one person that had changed his entire life, but had also shredded him into tiny pieces. He kept this picture in his room because it reminded him of a few things that he liked to keep fresh in his mind. One, that he had loved someone before. Hell, he hadn’t just loved her. She had been the very air that he breathed. And two, to remember that he never, ever, would let anyone that close to him again. Not after her.

  Touching the cool glass of the frame, he used his finger to outline her face, hair, and body. He literally felt like icy fingers clutched around his heart when he looked at her. He thought back to that night, just like he did every time he thought of her gorgeous face. The night that changed his entire life and shaped his future. He still couldn’t believe what she had done. After all that they had been through together.

  He remembered the night that they met each other like it was yesterday. He had seen her from across the room, dancing with her friends like she had not a care in the world. He was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. He knew from that night, even being ribbed by his cop buddies about being jail bait, that there was just something about that girl. And he was right. She took his heart immediately and without any warning. It wasn’t just her stunning red hair that she piled on top of her head while she was dancing. It wasn’t just the sparkly green eyes that pulled him in like a vortex. It was just … her. The aura of Rachel was something he had never found in another woman. She had been young, but it seemed like they had known each other forever. She had brought out a playful, fun side to him that he had to hide most of the time for his profession.

  For the two years they had been together, he thought he had it all. He even took the constant teasing from his friends that he was whipped and that Rachel had him around her little finger. He could’ve cared less. That woman was his, and he had fallen for her hook, line, and sinker. They had basically moved into together after only a few months, each of them staying with the other more often than not, and he had secretly been counting the days until he could ask her to marry him. She had dreams too, which he honored and loved about her. She would stay up studying all hours of the night and day, and when she was so tired she couldn’t even get up, he would carry her to bed and kiss her.

  That was why what happened to them had been such a shock. He thought that she wanted everything that he wanted. The million dollar question still swirled around in his head. Why? It was a question he never asked her that day, but still wished he would’ve. At the time, he was in such shock that he couldn’t even process her answer, her acknowledgement that she had taken everything they ever had and thrown it away. Over what? He just hadn’t been enough for her, after everything.

  His blood pressure was rising just thinking about the reason for their break up. He went back to the night, the party, where he looked forward to hanging out with Rachel and his buddies. They had had fun, until Rachel had disappeared and he couldn’t find her. After she had raced out, claiming to be sick but not letting him take care of her, he had been baffled. She never had acted like that before with him. The days following that had been the weirdest of his life. Rachel acted peculiar, avoiding him and not wanting to talk to him, much less see him. Then, the day he decided that he was not going to let her continue this, he overheard the conversation that made his blood run cold. His coworker. Zack Miller. What he heard out of his mouth, bragging to the other cops, was enough to send him racing to the bathroom to lose his lunch. It was all he could do to get out of there and go to Rachel’s. He had to find out, hear from her that it wasn’t true.

  Brrrrrinnnng. The shrill sound of his phone made him jump, making the photo clatter to the counter. His heart pumping in his chest, he picked up the phone and saw Ellis’ name on the screen.

  “Yo,” Devin answered, picking up the frame again and setting it right side up on the counter. “What’s up, man?”

  “Dev!” Ellis’ voice boomed over the phone. “How’s it hangin’, bro? Get settled in yet?”

  Devin laughed, walking away from the counter that held the picture. While he was trying to switch to the conversation with Ellis, it was hard for him to shake the feelings that remembering that day resurfaced. “Nah, I just got unloaded a little bit ago and was thinking about finding a grocery store.”

  “You’ll have to tell me if you find any sweet honies there, so I can come visit,” Ellis teased. “The selection down here is getting slim.”

  He shook his head. His friend, the ever sufferable flirt. “That’s just because you’ve had too many girls, Ellis.”

  Finishing up their conversation after making small talk about work and Devin’s new job, he said goodbye to his friend. He left the house in search of food, leaving Rachel and her memories on the counter. He wished he was strong enough to get rid of that picture of her, but he knew he never would. For as long as he would live, he’d look at it and wish for it to be different.

  Devin stretched his legs out under the table, tapping his pen on the leg of his uniform pants. He had been on the job about a month now, and while he was still pretty green, he was definitely getting used to the demand, and he loved it. They were currently talking about a guy named Mark Stevenson, who was wanted in Alabama for a litany of charges. They had gotten a tip that this he had been spotted in the area. He was listening, taking notes and watching the game plan they were coming up with to try to get him.

  “Where has he been spotted?” A stocky blonde guy asked, sitting in the front row. “What’s the likelihood that this is actually good intel?”

  Devin’s boss, Andrew, stood in front of what looked like a classroom. But instead of students, the room was filled with big, strong, burly men. A huge white board was against one wall, and on it was a picture of Mark and all of the info they had on him so far. Devin couldn’t see all of the information, but he could see that he looked like a regular, run of the mill guy that you might say hi to at a bar while he’s watching the game. He didn’t scream criminal, but then again, most of them didn’t.

  “He’s dangerous,” Andrew continued. “If he really is in this area, he’ll be intentionally laying low. He will probably have some menial job that keeps him out of the public eye. He may have even already latched himself onto a woman because that’s his M.O. If that’s the case, we need to find him, and immediately.”

  Andrew walked over to the board and tapped one of the papers hanging there. “He’s wanted for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, attempted murder, kidnapping, leaving the scene of a crime, attempted murder of a police officer …” Andrew paused, looking back at the group of cops. “I don’t even need to go on, but there’s more. We have to stake this guy out and get him off the streets for good. His last victim still lies in a coma in the hospital. She’s been that way for over two months. At this point, they aren’t even sure that she’ll wake up.”

  “So he kidnapped this woman and then tried to kill her?” Devin asked. Even though he was the newbie, he wasn’t afraid to ask questions.

  Andrew looked at him. “Yes. Apparently he had some sort of relationship with this woman, and something happened that made him flip his switch. There are indications that he had been abusive before, since she had some prior injuries. But the night that he tried to kill her, he had been hiding in her apartment when she came home. No one knows his motive for attacking her, and she can’t tell anyone, but he beat her half to death and then when cops were called because of the noise coming from her apartment, he ran from the cops. He jumped in his car and started shooting, clipping a cop in the shoulder. When the cops came in and found the woman, she was bound to a chair with tape over her mouth. They didn’t even know for sure who she was, she was so beat up. It was amazing that she even made it to the hospital. The man hasn’t been seen since, until now.”

  Devin balled up his fist. He had seen some really crappy things in his job. He had seen things that he wouldn’t wish on
his worst enemy. But the things that got him the most were the assholes that hurt women or children. That was something he just had no patience for.

  “So I want us to go check out this tip we were given. His picture was apparently broadcast on some news station, talking about wanted criminals. We got a call this afternoon saying that they swore they saw him at a local gas station right after seeing him on a television special.”

  The blonde guy in front scoffed out loud. “So, the likely story is that this person didn’t really see him and we will be busting our asses all over town looking for no one.”

  A murmur went through the room, some of the team agreeing that that was usually what happened when they got these ‘tips’. After Andrew released them, Devin walked up to the board, studying what they had about this Mark character. He looked at the picture of a young, attractive guy with dark hair and dark eyes. He definitely looked like he worked out, and based on his tan skin, maybe even did something outside for work. If he was here, in this town, he wanted to find him.

  Rachel walked out of her Zumba class at the gym, saying goodbye to her classmates as she grabbed a towel to wipe her face. Downing her bottle of water, she looked at her phone and noticed several missed calls from Justin. She wondered what in the world could be wrong with him that he would try to call her so many times.

  It had been almost a month since his accident at work, and he had gotten his stitches out and was doing physical therapy to make sure there were no lasting effects of the injury. He had been stuck doing desk duty at work, and it had made him irritable. She was grateful to get out and get to the gym when she could, because he had been staying with her mostly so she could help him, and he was getting on her last nerve. She didn’t want him needing her all of the time. He had been making her feel guilty for wanting to get out of the house, often whining like a small child. She hoped he was staying at his own house tonight, because she needed some space badly. Immediately she felt bad for thinking that, because Justin had been seriously injured. And he had been nothing but a gentleman since the whole restaurant debacle.

  Hitting the button to dial his number, she threw the towel in the dirty bin and walked out of the gym to her car. Justin didn’t answer, so she headed home, putting it out of her mind. She couldn’t wait to relax after a long day.

  Pulling into her driveway, she noticed Justin’s truck parked in guest parking. Furrowing her brow, she wondered how in the world he got into her house since she didn’t give him a key. Looking again at his truck, she knew he wasn’t in there, so the only other option was that he was in her house.

  She stomped up the stairs, anger racing through her veins. She couldn’t help it—what the hell was he doing? Sticking her key in the lock, she almost screamed as an arm came around her from behind.

  “There you are,” Justin’s voice appeared next to her ear. “It’s about damn time you got here. I’ve been waiting forever. I think it’s about time you get me a house key so I’m not stuck out here.”

  Rachel narrowed her eyes at him as she faced him. Her hands were shaking from the scare he gave her. “I tried calling you back,” she answered. “I was at the gym.”

  Justin looked her up and down. “I can see that. You should’ve told me where you were.”

  Rachel opened her mouth, then shut it. She should’ve what? Told him where she was? Oh, hell no. Opening the door, she stepped in and turned on the lights, Justin on her heels. “Justin,” she started. “Why did you call me so many times?”

  Justin pushed her back against the door, his breath hot on her face. “I wanted to know where my girlfriend was. And I needed you. Is that so wrong?”

  She put her hands on his muscular chest, pushing slightly to give herself some space. “I went to the gym, Justin. I go there several times a week, and you know this. What did you need me for? Are you okay?” She stepped to the side to try to get around him, but he put his arm out to the side to stop her. She looked up at him quizzically, fighting the rising panic of him holding her and not letting her past.

  “Where are you going?” Justin’s voice was cold, calculating. “I needed you. And when I need you, I want you to be there for me. I care about you, remember, Rachel? I know you have a hard time understanding that, but I worry about you and just want to be with you.” He lowered his arm and Rachel breathed in, stepping quickly around him so she had space.

  She wasn’t quite sure how to answer Justin. He was telling her one thing, but showing her that side of him again. “I’m here now,” she said. “Is everything okay?”

  Justin relaxed, a smile crossing his handsome face. He stepped forward again and pressed his lips to hers, and she let him. The warmth of his lips melted her a little and she also relaxed. “Baby,” he cooed against her lips. “I missed you. How about I take these clothes off of you and show you how much?”

  Rachel’s body reacted to his words, as much as she hated that it did. Deepening the kiss, she let her body go into autopilot as her mind tried to sort out what exactly was going on here. She faintly registered Justin touching her, removing her clothing, and his soft grunts of approval. But all she could concentrate on was what exactly she had gotten herself into, and what she needed to do about it.

  “Hmmm, that was so good,” Justin complimented, running his hand along her bare hip. Rachel smiled in agreement, her body still humming in satisfaction but her head still not in the game. “You’re an amazing lover, have I told you that?”

  She smiled again, feeling like once again she was putting on a front with him. She thought she had gotten past this, but in an instant, that feeling was there again. Dissatisfaction. Urge to run, to shelter herself.

  “Oh, I forgot to tell you since you distracted me so well when you finally showed up,” he began, making her stomach furl in anger again. “I lost my apartment today.”

  Rachel sat up, looking at Justin. “What does that mean, you lost it?”

  “Well, something about the landlord and foreclosure or something. I have no idea. All I know is that he told me I have until this weekend to get out. So, I figured, I would just come stay with you until I can find a new place.”

  Rachel’s eyes widened in shock. “What? Here?” She couldn’t help it, she was incredulous. What was he smoking?

  Justin laughed, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Yes, babe. I mean, what’s the big deal? We are together almost every night anyway, and you have plenty of room here. Plus, with me out of work for those few weeks healing, I’m hurting in the money department.”

  Rachel stared at his face, wracking her brain for exactly what in the hell she was going to say to him. He was not living here. Not now, maybe not ever. She didn’t do that. “Justin, I don’t think that’s going to happen just yet. I mean, I don’t think we’ve been together long enough yet. It’s a huge step. I can help you find a different place, see what’s out there.”

  His eyes met hers, and she saw something there that she wasn’t sure that she liked. “Rachel,” he said, his voice low. “I don’t have any money to go pay for another deposit, first and last, and all that. I don’t think it will kill you to let me stay here for a little bit, will it? I mean, I was here for most of the last month anyway, and you were fine with it then.”

  She stood up, wrapping her robe around her body, and started pacing the room. “That was different, Justin. You were injured and I helped you. It was temporary. This is just too much,” she muttered to herself. “I can’t move you in here with me.”

  Before she knew it, Justin was standing in front of her, towering over her. “What is your problem? Why are you being such a bitch? I’m not good enough for you? Seriously, Rachel! What do I have to do? I’m asking for your help and all you can think about is how much I’ll cramp your style?” He walked away, pacing the room. She watched him, her body tense. She wasn’t sure what was happening here, but she needed to try to get rid of him. She thought back to last month, the romantic, wonderful things he had said and done when he took her to the b
each, and the promise he made her. Where was that guy now?

  “Justin,” she intentionally made her voice low so she could try to calm him. “I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you to say that. I just—I’m not ready for that, okay? If you need to stay here for a couple days, that’s fine. But I don’t think I’m in a place where I want to take that next step. You’re wonderful, and have been great to me. I just—it’s just …”

  “Let me rephrase for you,” Justin spoke between gritted teeth. “I. Am. Staying. Here. Got it?”

  Tears filled Rachel’s eyes as he spoke. She felt herself spiraling out of control, losing it. What was he doing? How could she possibly get rid of him?

  When she didn’t answer, he came closer, his stance scaring her. “Do you understand, Rachel? I’ve done nothing but be there for you, and this is how you repay me? I take you on a romantic weekend and tell you how much you mean to me, I want to spend time with you, I tell you how much I care about you, and you practically throw me out of your house when I need somewhere to stay?”

  Willing her tears to go away so she didn’t seem weak, she stood up straight, looking him dead in the eyes. “I think you are being unreasonable, Justin. I’ve told you that I will try to be in a relationship. I was glad to be here to help you when you needed me. But I’m not ready for this. Not at all. I—I think you should go for now.”

  Before she could even wait for his response, she felt a blinding pain and she fell to the floor, not knowing what just happened. Blinking her eyes rapidly, she saw the carpet next to her. Her face pounded. Did he—hit her? And where was he now? She tried to move her head but the pain shot through her like an arrow, so she squeezed her eyes shut instead.

  Next thing she knew, she was back on her feet but not because she stood up. Justin must’ve picked her up. She tried to focus on him, to fight back, but her head was pounding so loud it sounded like the ocean in her ears. “You will learn,” he hissed in her face. As his face came into focus, she saw venom in his eyes. “You need to learn when to shut the fuck up. This is one of those times. So you are going to say to me, of course you can stay here, Justin. Of course.”